On Nov. 19, as planned, I met with the St. Andrew Session 19 and discussed some options for how the church should continue the discussion of same-sex relationships that we’ve begun in this class.
The official decision was reported in the December 2009 issue of the St. Andrew Messenger: “Jeff Charis-Carlson, who recently finished leading an 8-week Adult Education study on ‘Sexuality and the Presbyterian Christian Faith,’ requested that Session approve a congregationwide period of dialogue and discussion on same-sex marriage and Christian faith. Jeff also suggested that the church clarify, at the end of the study, its official stance on same-sex relationships. Following discussion, a motion was approved for Session to create a committee to lead an ongoing discussion of the topic of same-sex marriage at St. Andrew Presbyterian Church, beginning in January 2010 and not to exceed 8 months.”
We’re still in the planning stages of what this committee will do, but right now we’re moving forward with plans to offer a four-week version of our class starting in January. I hope to have an outline of some monthly or bi-monthly activities to offer after that class ends.
If you have any suggestions, please let me know.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Presentation to Session for Nov. 19
Here's a draft of what I am going to present to Session on Nov. 19 ...
In the eight weeks between Sept. 13 and Nov. 1, more than 50 St. Andrew members passed through the Adult Education class on “Sexuality and the Faith of Presbyterian Christians.” Many of those members disagreed over what St. Andrew’s stance on same-sex relationships should be. But all of them agreed that our church needs to:
To accomplish these goals, I am asking the Session to call for a congregation-wide process of discernment and dialogue on the question of whether St. Andrew should allow same-sex couples to marry in its sanctuary.
Before the Iowa Supreme Court ruling, the issue of same-sex relationships was just one of many theological differences that were ignored or tolerated rather than openly discussed at St. Andrew. With the Norman-Wikner marriage request, however, this issue not only has become divisive on its own merits, but it also has come to stand in for many of the other differences within the congregation.
I think St. Andrew would benefit from a months-long (if not year-long) study of the issue. By involving Adult Education programs and exhortations from the pulpit, such a process would help Session members probe their own consciences as well as gauge the consensus opinion of the congregation.
I discussed this process with the nearly 40 people who attended the final session of the class on Nov. 1. Since that meeting, Matthew Penning, Becka Yuccis, Laura Frey Law, Dan Ciha and Janice Baldes have agreed to be part of a panel of individuals who would assist in preparing materials, inviting guest speakers and faciliting other events as part of this dialogue process. (First Presbyterian is going through a similar process. It might be beneficial to both our congregations if we went through through at least part of this process together.)
The process can begin in earnest on Jan. 17, when I’m planning to begin teaching a second round of the “Sexuality and the Faith of Presbyterian Christians” class. Because the class’s discussion time was repeatedly cut short during the eight-week version, this version will consist of four, two-hour sessions. The class also will take place on Sundays from 1 to 3 p.m. so that St. Andrew members with Christian Education responsibilities can participate as well.
While we have a clear beginning point for this process, we also need a clear end point. That’s why we would like Session to name a date in which, after this period of discernment and dialogue, it will make a clear, informed decision on the issue.
Everyone in the final session of the class realizes how this conversation has the potential to split the congregation. But we also realize how ignoring the conversation already is allowing people to wander away.
I think St. Andrew will be made stronger by this process — even if it ends up being slightly smaller. The process will give our congregation a clearer sense of its mission and identity and thus better prepare us to respond to our many other challenges and opportunities.
In the eight weeks between Sept. 13 and Nov. 1, more than 50 St. Andrew members passed through the Adult Education class on “Sexuality and the Faith of Presbyterian Christians.” Many of those members disagreed over what St. Andrew’s stance on same-sex relationships should be. But all of them agreed that our church needs to:
- Clarify its official stance.
- Stop sending mixed signals on same-sex relationships.
- And strengthen the relationship between St. Andrew and its sister congregations in the Presbyterian Church USA.
To accomplish these goals, I am asking the Session to call for a congregation-wide process of discernment and dialogue on the question of whether St. Andrew should allow same-sex couples to marry in its sanctuary.
Before the Iowa Supreme Court ruling, the issue of same-sex relationships was just one of many theological differences that were ignored or tolerated rather than openly discussed at St. Andrew. With the Norman-Wikner marriage request, however, this issue not only has become divisive on its own merits, but it also has come to stand in for many of the other differences within the congregation.
I think St. Andrew would benefit from a months-long (if not year-long) study of the issue. By involving Adult Education programs and exhortations from the pulpit, such a process would help Session members probe their own consciences as well as gauge the consensus opinion of the congregation.
I discussed this process with the nearly 40 people who attended the final session of the class on Nov. 1. Since that meeting, Matthew Penning, Becka Yuccis, Laura Frey Law, Dan Ciha and Janice Baldes have agreed to be part of a panel of individuals who would assist in preparing materials, inviting guest speakers and faciliting other events as part of this dialogue process. (First Presbyterian is going through a similar process. It might be beneficial to both our congregations if we went through through at least part of this process together.)
The process can begin in earnest on Jan. 17, when I’m planning to begin teaching a second round of the “Sexuality and the Faith of Presbyterian Christians” class. Because the class’s discussion time was repeatedly cut short during the eight-week version, this version will consist of four, two-hour sessions. The class also will take place on Sundays from 1 to 3 p.m. so that St. Andrew members with Christian Education responsibilities can participate as well.
While we have a clear beginning point for this process, we also need a clear end point. That’s why we would like Session to name a date in which, after this period of discernment and dialogue, it will make a clear, informed decision on the issue.
Everyone in the final session of the class realizes how this conversation has the potential to split the congregation. But we also realize how ignoring the conversation already is allowing people to wander away.
I think St. Andrew will be made stronger by this process — even if it ends up being slightly smaller. The process will give our congregation a clearer sense of its mission and identity and thus better prepare us to respond to our many other challenges and opportunities.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Class Notes from Nov. 1
Here are my notes for the discussion in the final session of our eight-week class. On Nov. 19, I'll be giving a report to the Session on on how the class went and what we need to do next.
If you have any suggestions on what I should say, drop me a note at jcharisc@press-citizen.com.
With about 40 people crammed into our classroom Sunday, we came to a number of startling realizations (some critical, some complimentary, some complementary, some contradictory) about our church and our community:
We would like Session to endorse and encourage a congregation-wide process of discernment and dialogue on the question of whether St. Andrew should allow same-sex couples to marry in its sanctuary. Just as the church underwent a year of reading the Bible — an effort that combined input from Adult Ed, youth programs and exhortations from the pulpit — so we now need a months-long (if not year-long) study of the issue with the goal of helping the Session gauge the consensus opinion of the congregation. We'd like that discussion to begin in January.
At the end of the process, the Session — as representatives of the congregation who are charged to vote their own consciences — will vote and make a clear, informed decision on the issue. (First Presbyterian is going through a similar process. It might be beneficial to both our congregations to go through the part of the process together.)
Everyone in the class realizes how this conversation has the potential to split the congregation. But they also realize how ignoring the conversation already is allowing people to wander away.
Whatever is left of St. Andrew at the end of this process will be a congregation with a clearer sense of its mission and identity — a congregation that will be better prepared to respond to its many other challenges and opportunities.
If you have any suggestions on what I should say, drop me a note at jcharisc@press-citizen.com.
With about 40 people crammed into our classroom Sunday, we came to a number of startling realizations (some critical, some complimentary, some complementary, some contradictory) about our church and our community:
- There aren’t many cultural Presbyterians in our PCUSA congregation. Only about 20 percent of the people in Sunday’s class identified as being raised Presbyterian. The others were raised in a wide variety of other faith traditions, including: Episcopal, Lutheran (ELCA), Lutheran (Missouri Synod), the Reformed Church of America, Methodist, Covenant Church, Roman Catholic and Salvation Army.
- It seems one of the few forces binding together this theological hodgepodge at St. Andrew is the structure and order of the Presbyterian Church USA.
- Yet the majority of members of St. Andrew know little about the organizing structure of their denomination. And some class members said the congregation probably would identify itself as “more progressive” on same-sex relationships and other issues if the denomination wasn’t “holding it back.” (But then again, if the congregation decided to step out from the denomination’s strictures, it’s unclear what would be left to hold everyone together.)
- While the broad theological umbrella encouraged by the PCUSA has allowed a wide variety of people to worship together at St. Andrew, that “unity” too often has been the result of ignoring differences rather than airing them and coming to a compromise/decision. Some fear that St. Andrew members have forgotten how to discuss difference in respect and love — especially when the discussion will lead some members to decide their faith journeys are leading them away from St. Andrew.
- We reaffirmed how St. Andrew is a lot like Iowa City — it’s not really as “progressive” as the members like to think it is, and all the members like to think of themselves as being “above average” in terms of intelligence and toleration.
- St. Andrew, in fact, is a middle church — one balanced out by the extremes on both ends, and one who’s middle is now seesawing slightly between left and right, open and traditional.
- St. Andrew is large enough that its biggest challenge is communication. Many members complained they had no idea the Session was discussing whether to move the church, despite the Session’s multiple efforts to invite more input through the mini-messenger and small groups as well as from the pulpit. Many members (including me) didn’t know the Session was considering the marriage request of Michelle Norman and Michelle Wikner until after the request had been turned down by a close vote. (On the other hand, I’ve heard that some session members didn’t know that our class was going on until about the fifth or sixth week.)
- Because St. Andrew seems to be swaying on its fulcrum right now, too many members have become less excited about the church. They aren’t thinking of leaving in a huff, but their attendance has slackened, or they just don’t see the point of giving 110 percent to a congregation they now feel less connected to. And because of the size of the church, it’s very easy for them to shift from the stage to the wings without attracting a lot of attention.
- Before the Iowa Supreme Court ruling, the issue of same-sex relationships was just one of many theological differences that were ignored rather than discussed at St. Andrew. With the marriage request of the Michelles, however, this issue has come to symbolize (or stand in for) many of the other differences within the congregation. And it’s now of paramount importance that we focus on calling a senior pastor who has the skills necessary to help a congregation clarify its identity and deal lovingly with those who are at odds with that identity. (Yet we'll probably need to address the issue before a permanent senior pastor is installed.)
- But before St. Andrew begins any congregation-wide discussions of same-sex relationships and related issues, the staff and session need to decide that they will make a decision. That is, they need to decide that St. Andrew is a decision-making (rather than a decision-deferring) church. (And that hasn’t seemed to be the case for at least the past decade.)
We would like Session to endorse and encourage a congregation-wide process of discernment and dialogue on the question of whether St. Andrew should allow same-sex couples to marry in its sanctuary. Just as the church underwent a year of reading the Bible — an effort that combined input from Adult Ed, youth programs and exhortations from the pulpit — so we now need a months-long (if not year-long) study of the issue with the goal of helping the Session gauge the consensus opinion of the congregation. We'd like that discussion to begin in January.
At the end of the process, the Session — as representatives of the congregation who are charged to vote their own consciences — will vote and make a clear, informed decision on the issue. (First Presbyterian is going through a similar process. It might be beneficial to both our congregations to go through the part of the process together.)
Everyone in the class realizes how this conversation has the potential to split the congregation. But they also realize how ignoring the conversation already is allowing people to wander away.
Whatever is left of St. Andrew at the end of this process will be a congregation with a clearer sense of its mission and identity — a congregation that will be better prepared to respond to its many other challenges and opportunities.
St. Andrew and First Presbyterian
First Presbyterian has begun a congregational-wide process of discernment an dialogue over whether the church should allow its sanctuary to be used for wedding ceremonies for same-gendered couples. We've been talking about St. Andrew beginning a similar process.
Here are some reasons why both churches could concern going through part of this process together:
Here are some reasons why both churches could concern going through part of this process together:
- A Need to Continue the Discussion: St. Andrew Presbyterian Church’s theological/faith community stance on the ordination of gays and lesbians and on same-sex marriage is continuing to unfold and congregation members are asking for the discussion to continue beyond our eight-week Adult Education class.
- Common Issue: Both churches are linked on this issue already by the Session decisions made concerning Michelle Wikner and Michelle Norman’s wedding
- Continuing Hospitality: First Presbyterian graciously hosted many St. Andrew members for the wedding.
- Strengthening Ties: There has been some tension over this between churches. Gathering together can do away with that tension, build understanding, strengthen our relationship as local Presbyterian brothers and sisters in Christ, and could lead to future common ministry efforts.
- Family Reunion: There is still a clear memory at First Presbyterian, even after 50 years, that they are St. Andrew’s founding church. Because of this relationship, they are more attuned to the life and mission of St. Andrew. Many apparently know the discussions we are currently encountering and they are concerned about St. Andrew. As surprising as this sentiment might be to many at St. Andrew, entering into a process alongside members of First Presbyterian may have the positive overtones of a family reunion.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Discussion questions for Week 8
Our final class period will be focused on where the congregation goes from here -- what help steps should St. Andrew take to continue the process of discernment and dialogue that we've been having for the past few weeks.
If you have specific suggestions, please drop me an e-mail at jcharisc@press-citizen.com or post a comment here.
If you have specific suggestions, please drop me an e-mail at jcharisc@press-citizen.com or post a comment here.
Notes from Week 7
In Sunday’s discussion we read some biblical passages that don’t deal directly with same-sex relationships but that provide further context for the passages that do.
* Reading some healing passages from Luke, we asked whether Jesus would seek to heal Christians “struggling” with same-sex attraction, or if he would condemn the church for requiring gay and lesbian Christians to stay in the closet.
* We read passages in Acts that discussed how the early church — when deciding how much of the Mosaic Law to burden the gentile Christians with — boiled everything down to abstaining from actions associated with idolatry, avoiding food that is offensive to Jewish Christians and upholding the sanctity of marriage and sexual morality.
* We discussed Romans 6, in which Paul describes how a baptized Christian’s life is supposed to move beyond anything in our sinful nature that would hold back the transformative work God is doing in us.
* And we read 1 Corinthians 5, in which Paul orders the church to deal with a member who is engaged in a relationship with his stepmother — a relationship even the gentiles would find taboo. He argues that it’s better for the church to go through the pain of expelling the man if he fails to repent than to sit silently by as their brother goes on toward damnation. We discussed what is the natural of damnation and salvation, and what role should the church members be playing in calling one another on their bad actions.
There was some concern that, in the course of our discussion, we slipped back and forth between talking about same-sex orientation and same-sex behavior. Nearly every Christian denomination agrees that same-sex orientation isn’t sinful in itself. It’s acting on that orientation that becomes an issue in most churches.
Presbyterian Church USA policy allows for self-described homosexuals to be ordained, for example, as long as they promise to be celibate outside of a heterosexual marriage.
The PCUSA likewise allows for the blessing of same-sex unions — and here’s the legal catch — as long as such a blessing won’t be considered marriage. And while the two people involved in the union can be members, they can’t be ordained as elders or ministers.
While we need to keep those legal distinctions in mind — especially as we consider the next step for our PCUSA congregation — our dialogue on this issue also needs to allow people to share their thoughts, even when their language becomes less than precise.
Finally, we discussed the actual motion that the First Presbyterian Session passed concerning the Norman-Wikner wedding. First Presbyterian Pastor Sam Massey said their Session passed a two-part motion that:
* Gave permission for a Presbyterian colleague, the Rev. Colette Soults-Ciha, to use the building for a non-member, same-gendered wedding ceremony and that
* Initiated a congregation-wide process of discernment and dialogue on the issues concerning same-sex marriage and the ordination of Presbyterians in committed, same-gendered relationships. That process, which is very similar to the dialogue we’ve been having in this class, will begin in November.
From the pastor’s perspective, the decision about the wedding was not precedent-setting, hence the need for the discernment process for the congregation.
* Reading some healing passages from Luke, we asked whether Jesus would seek to heal Christians “struggling” with same-sex attraction, or if he would condemn the church for requiring gay and lesbian Christians to stay in the closet.
* We read passages in Acts that discussed how the early church — when deciding how much of the Mosaic Law to burden the gentile Christians with — boiled everything down to abstaining from actions associated with idolatry, avoiding food that is offensive to Jewish Christians and upholding the sanctity of marriage and sexual morality.
* We discussed Romans 6, in which Paul describes how a baptized Christian’s life is supposed to move beyond anything in our sinful nature that would hold back the transformative work God is doing in us.
* And we read 1 Corinthians 5, in which Paul orders the church to deal with a member who is engaged in a relationship with his stepmother — a relationship even the gentiles would find taboo. He argues that it’s better for the church to go through the pain of expelling the man if he fails to repent than to sit silently by as their brother goes on toward damnation. We discussed what is the natural of damnation and salvation, and what role should the church members be playing in calling one another on their bad actions.
There was some concern that, in the course of our discussion, we slipped back and forth between talking about same-sex orientation and same-sex behavior. Nearly every Christian denomination agrees that same-sex orientation isn’t sinful in itself. It’s acting on that orientation that becomes an issue in most churches.
Presbyterian Church USA policy allows for self-described homosexuals to be ordained, for example, as long as they promise to be celibate outside of a heterosexual marriage.
The PCUSA likewise allows for the blessing of same-sex unions — and here’s the legal catch — as long as such a blessing won’t be considered marriage. And while the two people involved in the union can be members, they can’t be ordained as elders or ministers.
While we need to keep those legal distinctions in mind — especially as we consider the next step for our PCUSA congregation — our dialogue on this issue also needs to allow people to share their thoughts, even when their language becomes less than precise.
Finally, we discussed the actual motion that the First Presbyterian Session passed concerning the Norman-Wikner wedding. First Presbyterian Pastor Sam Massey said their Session passed a two-part motion that:
* Gave permission for a Presbyterian colleague, the Rev. Colette Soults-Ciha, to use the building for a non-member, same-gendered wedding ceremony and that
* Initiated a congregation-wide process of discernment and dialogue on the issues concerning same-sex marriage and the ordination of Presbyterians in committed, same-gendered relationships. That process, which is very similar to the dialogue we’ve been having in this class, will begin in November.
From the pastor’s perspective, the decision about the wedding was not precedent-setting, hence the need for the discernment process for the congregation.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Some reflections on the Norman-Wikner wedding
Because this Adult Education Class was initiated largely because of the Session vote on the Norman-Wikner wedding, it seems appropriate to offer some reflections on that special event. Your responses, of course, are always welcome.
Weddings are always public events. The assembled friends and family members are asked to bear witness to the promises made by the loving couple. And a few of those witnesses then sign their names to a license to ensure the marriage is recognized by the state.
But the Oct. 18 wedding of Michelle Norman and Michelle Wikner felt more public than usual. Because of the controversy over the decision to not allow the ceremony to take place in St. Andrew Presbyterian — the Michelles’ church home for the past 14 years — those who chose to stand witness to the event had to consider what message their mere presence would convey.
Some attendees personally question whether their understanding of scripture and church policy allows for a marriage between two women. Yet they chose to be on hand to show they want to continue their relationship with the Norman-Wikner family. And their questioning voices mixed with those of the open and affirming attendees when the Rev. Colette Ciha Soults asked the congregation to state its willingness to help the Michelles live up to their commitment.
And when all those voices were raised in song — especially in the good acoustics of First Presbyterian’s sanctuary — it was clear that the basic ceremony wasn’t that different from the thousands of other weddings that have taken place in Iowa City’s two Presbyterian churches:
Every wedding, of course, has its unique elements. And that’s especially true when the happy couple has been living together for a decade and a half and has been raising daughters for two-thirds of that time. Or when the ceremony itself wouldn’t have been possible seven months earlier. Or when the couple — whether out of necessity, design or resignation — becomes a symbol for struggles and issues that go far beyond the happiness of just one family.
That must be why the Michelles decided to break with tradition and greet their guests both before the wedding as well as after. It was an extra step to ensure each of their guests felt a welcome part of this long overdue celebration.
Nor did the brides have traditional maids of honor. They, instead, had their daughters stand alongside them to witness and to participate firsthand in the blessing of their family. (The only time I got verklempt, in fact, was when 10-year-old Anna read the scripture with such poise and expression.)
The biggest difference from the traditional ceremony, however, was that no one gave anyone away during the wedding. The two brides walked each other down the aisle instead.
It was a moving symbol of the Michelles’ interdependence as well as a sad reminder that some of their family members disapproved of the wedding and failed to attend.
Likewise, while there were many St. Andrew faces in the congregation, there were still others who — even if they love the Michelles, Anna and Eva as sisters in Christ — felt they could not bear witness to a ceremony they fundamentally disagree with.
That’s why so many of the wedding guests decided to clap so joyfully and loudly at the announcement and (re)introduction of the Norman-Wikner family. They were trying to make up for the people who were missing. They were trying to make up for all the years this family has survived — and thrived — without public acknowledgment.
I hope the ceremony and the reception gave the Michelles the affirmation they deserve. But I also hope — somewhat selfishly — that it eventually will help the Norman-Wikner family make their way back home to St. Andrew.
Weddings are always public events. The assembled friends and family members are asked to bear witness to the promises made by the loving couple. And a few of those witnesses then sign their names to a license to ensure the marriage is recognized by the state.
But the Oct. 18 wedding of Michelle Norman and Michelle Wikner felt more public than usual. Because of the controversy over the decision to not allow the ceremony to take place in St. Andrew Presbyterian — the Michelles’ church home for the past 14 years — those who chose to stand witness to the event had to consider what message their mere presence would convey.
Some attendees personally question whether their understanding of scripture and church policy allows for a marriage between two women. Yet they chose to be on hand to show they want to continue their relationship with the Norman-Wikner family. And their questioning voices mixed with those of the open and affirming attendees when the Rev. Colette Ciha Soults asked the congregation to state its willingness to help the Michelles live up to their commitment.
And when all those voices were raised in song — especially in the good acoustics of First Presbyterian’s sanctuary — it was clear that the basic ceremony wasn’t that different from the thousands of other weddings that have taken place in Iowa City’s two Presbyterian churches:
- The happy couple was beaming,
- Friends were crying, and
- The homily reminded everyone how marriage is about much more than the momentary happiness brought on by one day of celebration; how marriage is about the joy that comes with building a life together.
Every wedding, of course, has its unique elements. And that’s especially true when the happy couple has been living together for a decade and a half and has been raising daughters for two-thirds of that time. Or when the ceremony itself wouldn’t have been possible seven months earlier. Or when the couple — whether out of necessity, design or resignation — becomes a symbol for struggles and issues that go far beyond the happiness of just one family.
That must be why the Michelles decided to break with tradition and greet their guests both before the wedding as well as after. It was an extra step to ensure each of their guests felt a welcome part of this long overdue celebration.
Nor did the brides have traditional maids of honor. They, instead, had their daughters stand alongside them to witness and to participate firsthand in the blessing of their family. (The only time I got verklempt, in fact, was when 10-year-old Anna read the scripture with such poise and expression.)
The biggest difference from the traditional ceremony, however, was that no one gave anyone away during the wedding. The two brides walked each other down the aisle instead.
It was a moving symbol of the Michelles’ interdependence as well as a sad reminder that some of their family members disapproved of the wedding and failed to attend.
Likewise, while there were many St. Andrew faces in the congregation, there were still others who — even if they love the Michelles, Anna and Eva as sisters in Christ — felt they could not bear witness to a ceremony they fundamentally disagree with.
That’s why so many of the wedding guests decided to clap so joyfully and loudly at the announcement and (re)introduction of the Norman-Wikner family. They were trying to make up for the people who were missing. They were trying to make up for all the years this family has survived — and thrived — without public acknowledgment.
I hope the ceremony and the reception gave the Michelles the affirmation they deserve. But I also hope — somewhat selfishly — that it eventually will help the Norman-Wikner family make their way back home to St. Andrew.
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